I want to start this post off by saying that I’m a big fan of Criminal Minds and I had high hopes for it’s new spin-off show entitled, Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior. I’m not a huge fan of spin-off shows, especially since Law and Order seemingly had a spin-off from everything from SVU to Law and Order: Mall Cops but that’s an article for a different day. I had high expectations for this show since its predecessor is so well done and was hoping the show wouldn’t disappoint. Don’t get me wrong, the show is interesting and some of the storylines are well thought out and well put together but there is one thing (or person) that makes the show unbearable. This man’s name is Forest Whitaker.
I’m guessing that having an Oscar winning actor for your show is some sort of good selling point (and you need all the help you can get when the other main star on your show is Janeane Garofalo) but there is one fundamental problem with this theory: THE FUCKER CAN’T ACT. Sure, he’s won an Oscar but this is also a man who co-starred in what is widely considered to be one of if not THE worst movie of all time, Battlefield Earth. I don’t know how one guy could, in the same lifetime, be an Oscar winner and be in one of the worse films in fucking history. That is the sort of paradox that Doc Brown warned us would destroy the space time continuum. I wouldn’t be surprised if all this gloom and doom and Super Moon bullshit was a direct result of the fact that this guy somehow was acknowledged at one point as a good actor.
I’m sure in some arty bullshit piece of shit movie his acting seems fine but this guy is a classic over-actor. He has to make EVERY scene fucking way more dramatic than it’s supposed to be, he reminds me of a black William Shatner. His acting at some point reaches laughable levels. The way he talks, I actually at one point thought that the writes of the show took the character of Stevie from Malcolm in the Middle, made a back story that he somehow became un-disabled and joined the FBI and wrote him into the show…. HE’S THAT BAD. It’s hard for me to take anything seriously when this guy is on the screen and that’s a huge problem when he’s the main character on the fucking show, the guy we are supposed to be rooting for. I’m no fucking Tom Hanks myself but I always thought the point of acting was to make people believe that you are the actual character you are portraying. I don’t for one second believe this guy is a fucking cop. To me, he seems like a guy trying too hard and it comes off really poorly and unless cops break out into dramatic soliloquies in the middle of no where 256 times a day for no fucking reason that this guy isn’t playing a cop. Someone should send a memo to Forest and tell him that this is a crime drama and not a production of Hamlet being performed in front of The Queen of England. He better figure it out fast before this show turns into: Criminal Minds: Canceled Piece of Dog Shit.
Sticky Fingers 