I Think I’ll Pass

Posted: March 15, 2010 in Hilarious Stories
Tags: , , , , , ,

There comes a time in a man’s life when you just gotta say no.  This brings me to a story that happened a couple years ago that I thought I’d share with the entire internet.  Me and a buddy went to a local bar one night for a few drinks and what not.  We’re drinking and having a good time and we start talking to these younger girls (not that young…perverts) that he knew.  I see this girl looking at me.  She is a hot blonde with a nice figure that may or may not have fake tits, (that is still a debate to this day) so I give her a “look” back.  After a while my friend goes out for a smoke and I go out with him to shoot the shit and she follows us.  We all start talking.  My friend knows who she is and introduces us and the first thing she says to me is, “I like what you’re wearing.”  Now im no fashion expert but I was wearing a hoodie, regular old jeans, and a hat… Clearly no one would like what I was wearing.  I took this as a sign that she was flirting and we started talking.  My friend left us alone and we were talking about various things and she puts my hands around her waist and in my head im thinking, “Jackpot.  You are in, you cannot fail here.”  Well readers, something can always go wrong and in fact something did go wrong, except this time I wasnt the cause of it.  My friend comes back outside and takes me aside and gives me the scoop on this girl and tells me, “I’ve heard shes bad news, I dont think she’ll fuck you but go ahead and try.  I’ll try to get her to come back with us.”  Me and my buddy lived within a block of each other at the time so he tried to talk the girl into coming back with us.  The girl started giving excuses why she couldnt so right there I thought, “game over, this is a waste.”  Then my friend went back inside and she pulled me close and the follow exchange took place:

Hot Blonde:  I want you to come back to my house with me.

Me:  Ok (trying not to blow my load right there) lets go.

HB: Well…  I’m my friends ride so I have to go find her.

Me: Ok thats cool.  Wheres your car, I’ll go wait there.

HB:  Oh… well… My Dad drove me so I have to call him to pick us up.

Game Over.

For those of you confused let me break it down for you.  She had to call her dad to pick her up.  Ok, well some of you are thinking, “so what id still do it.”   …No.  I’m not getting in the “Mini-van” with her father driving and then when her dad asks where hes dropping me off I answer, “uhh, your daughters bed?”  Thats not happening, I dont care how much I wanted to bang this chick, that was not going down.

I expressed my concerns to this young lady and her answer to reassure me was, “Dont worry I’ll make you breakfast in the morning.”    ??? …WHAT?

So that was it for me.  As she went in to find her friends my buddy came outside.  I discussed the situation with him and he calmly told me “we should get the fuck out of here.”  And we did my friends, we got the fuck of out there and never looked back.  About a week or two later the same friend I was with that night told me that Hot Blonde hooked up with our friends brother… And then another dude… And another….etc.

Sometimes things arent so cut & dry.  Sometimes you gotta let the hot ones goes so your penis doesnt get a disease in which it burns when you pee or you have to take Valtrex.  Sometimes you just say no.

– Josh

** A reminder to check out The MANCAST’s tenth episode here.

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