Good Afternoon friends, I hope you’re all enjoying your Super Bowl hangovers today.  I was going to talk about the game itself or the commercials (which I had to watch online because im Canadian… dont get me started) instead I’m gonna discuss the most ridiculous part of the whole thing, the fucking halftime show.  First of all, the question on everybody’s mind: WHAT IN THE FUCK WAS THAT?!  It looked like the Black Eyed Peas took a time machine from either the future or a horrible 1980’s sci-fi movie. I shit you not Will.I.Am looked EXACTLY like Wesley Snipes’ character in Demolition Man.

uhhh wtf?

What is that thing on his head a fucking condom?  Correct me if im wrong but I don’t think rubbers on your head is the new thing (I don’t hang around with a lot of black people so I could be wrong.)

 

Will.I.Am?

Then that brings me to Fergie…… Fergie oh Fergie.  Aside from pissing your pants in front of the 162 million people watching the Super Bowl I didn’t think you could look that bad.  They gave you enough makeup to cover up all your meth sores and aside from awkwardly trying to fuck Slash’s guitar you didnt do half bad.  Wait…. did YOU pick out the horrible outfit?!  I can hear the FOX executives talking right now:

Fox Brass: Well uh, we don’t want to have another Janet on our hands so lets have this bitch dress like a line backer that way no one will have to see her gross ass clevage and the 4% of people left in America that want to fuck Fergie will now think twice.

Seriously, Fergie looked like Road Warrior Hawk out there and despite how cool that may sound that is in no way a compliment.

 

 

This man is rolling around in his grave.

We went from Linkin Park on SNL Saturday looking like they came straight out of The Matrix (if you missed it, you didnt miss much) to The Black Eyed Peas on Sunday looking like they came back from the future to warn the world that the gangs from Mad Max would be taking over in the near future.  I understand that some artists want to appear to hip and cool and “Edgy” and to be fair I don’t know if the outfits were their idea (probably) or the network’s but seriously….THIS is what you came up with.  The people in the stadium and watching at home don’t want to feel like their watching the half time show from Super bowl 134 on the Sci-Fi network.  I’m pretty sure instead of getting the crowd all pumped up it deflated them for the beginning of the 3rd quarter and did irreversible dammage to all who witnessed it.  I had the TV on mute the entire time (except for from Slash came out) and I still can’t get the IMAGES out of my fucking head.  Next time keep it simple and the half time show won’t be seen as a disaster to all who watch it.  And with that I have one thing to say: OHHHHH WHAT A RUSHHHHHHH!!!! (cue the music)

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Comments
  1. mitchii says:

    I would like you to rant about our lack of commercials in Canada. I was no impressed!!
    But so from what I understand, you think I should throw out my Fergie costume that I use as lingerie? I was wondering why I wasn’t getting a good response…

  2. OMAC says:

    The halftime show hasn’t been good since Janet whipped out her fat tit. Instead, i watched a bit of the puppy bowl which was fucking awsome by the way. How high do you have to be to watch the puppy bowl over the Superbowl halftime show you ask? 2 blunts to be exact. I thought halftime was a real life version of Futurerama and I hate that fucking show. Instead of a halftime show they should have a direct feed to the puppy bowl. Or have janet jackson go out on stage and whip it out every year. I mean come on?!?!

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