Posts Tagged ‘Things I hate’

It’s Friday, so what a better way to start off a weekend then me making fun of some more people.  Apparently, the readers of this blog (Hi Mom!) enjoy when I make fun of people.  Actually, I don’t even have to make fun of people, when I start ranting about things the viewership on the blog goes way up so let’s bring on the rants.  There a lot of things people say or do that piss me the fuck off so I thought I’d share some random ones with you off the top of my head.

 

–  Every couple of years a new saying comes along that catches on and everyone starts repeating.  One of the ones I can’t fucking stand is when people instead of saying something is “funny” they instead say, “that’s jokes.”  Another example: “Yeah that Josh guy is really jokes.”  Maybe I HAVE JOKES, but I am not MADE of jokes.  I’m funny, THINGS are FUNNY, things aren’t JOKES.  Stop fucking saying this.

– Over use of “your mom” jokes.  When I was in grade school making fun of people’s moms was funny.  Then when I got a bit older the first time I heard someone say “I fucked your mom” to someone else I laughed.  By this point these jokes are so overused that they aren’t funny and are annoying as shit.  You’ll know when a guy has absolutely no sense of humor when you’re insulting him and he breaks out the “your mom jokes.”  Get some new fucking material dude.

– People who wear Crocs.  Crocs are fucking ugly. Period.  No debate.  Ok, I can maybe understand you want to wear shoes in the pool, I can accept that but some people wear them all THE FUCKING TIME.  These “shoes” are neon colors and have fucking holes in them, don’t wear them in public you loser.

–  Saying “Bro” too much.  Once and awhile I don’t mind the use of the word “bro” it’s been around since the dawn of time.  But some guys when they are drunk are like a “bro” machine gun.  Bro Bro Bro Brobrobrobrobrobrobrobrobrobrobrobrobrobro.  I hate it, especially when someone you don’t know tries to get your attention by saying it or is drunk and starting a fight and is spouting “bro”‘s like nobody’s business.  You can get my attention without yelling bro in my face…Bro.

– People who put their whole fucking day on Facebook.  A lot of people hate Facebook.  I know some people who even refuse to sign up for it because they don’t want other people to be in their business 24/7 and I can respect that.  I think Facebook is good to connect with your friends and see what everyone is up too or (some) people’s thoughts on random shit going on in our lives.  What I can’t fucking stand however is people who put their whole fucking agenda on Facebook.  There are at least two types of these people and I currently have both types of them as my Facebook contacts.  Type 1:  They put every single thing they are going to do in their upcoming day in a list in their status.  example: Ok so im gonna wake up and get in the shower then im going to brush my teeth and go to the mall and blahblahblahfuckingblahetc.

Type 2:  Instead of writing their whole day in one post they update you the SECOND something happens in their lives.

example: 8:15am- just got coffee

8:20am: Ate a doughnut

9am: At The Gym

9:15am: on the treadmill

JOSH HATES THIS…..FUCK!!!

 

–  When people bandwagon jump or when people who don’t even like sports start liking a sport because it’s popular at a certain point in time.  For those of you who don’t really know sports a “bandwagon jumper” is someone who likes a team and then when they start doing bad that person just picks a new, MUCH BETTER team.  When I was growing up I learned that you pick a team and you stick with them through thick and thin.  If the team is doing shitty you like that team and then one day if they become good you will be rewarded for your suffering, kind of like going to church.  Since I have these ethics instilled in me it pisses me off that people do this.  I have a friend that every year during the hockey playoffs he picks a different team to cheer for because he “thinks they’re going to win” and then he adds, “but I’ve liked them a long time.”  This same person I saw in 2004 wearing a red sox hat during the MLB playoffs where the red sox would eventually go on to win their first world series since 1918.  The part about this that pisses me off is that a year earlier I asked him to go to a baseball game and he said, “I don’t fucking watch baseball man.”  UGHHH.  Also their are thousands of fucking people that don’t watch sports but if the world Cup is on they suddenly like soccer (and display annoying fucking flags out their car windows, no one cares if you’re Portuguese) or if everyone is cheering for a team they do it too because it’s popular at the time….fuck those people.

–  Okay last one for now because I’m going to have a stroke.  Hot Girls.  Whatttt you say, “Josh you hate hot girls?!?!”  No you fucking moron I don’t hate hot girls but I hate girls that think they’re so hot that they are entitled to something or that they are better than other people.  You’re genes were randomly thrown together and you turned out to be good looking it doesn’t mean you get a fucking prize or you deserve special treatment.  The sad/funny thing that these people don’t realize is that there is around 8 billion people in the world if you take out all the Asians and Indians (from India) and crackheads and ugly people that means there are millions of good looking people on the fucking planet.  You are not alone, sure you look good but so do millions of other people, congratulations whore.  They only thing I hate worse than those type of people are the people who pander to them and actually AGREE that they do deserve special treatment… Actually, I’m pretty sure this was the basis that Hollywood was formed on.

Okay, that’s it for me.  I vented and I hope you enjoyed our little therapy session.  Got anything to get off your chest just leave me a  comment below and tell me what you hate.